Sunday, April 25, 2010

International Adoption, Fertility and Child Trauma

International Adoption and Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) prevalence needs to be looked at in the context of occurring within the adoption community Vs outside the community Vs within the context of foster care.

Although I am sure there are parents parenting children with RAD and the parents don't know that RAD or Developmental Trauma Disorder is an issue.  Often RAD and DTD (Developmental Trauma Disorder) or PTSD (Posttraumatic Stress Disorder) is misdiagnosed or not diagnosed at all.  I remember reading posts on various lists from parents who described in detail the behavior of their child. These descriptions read like a check list for RAD/DTD/PTSD. Then others on the same list would call their child strong willed and/ or head strong and everyone would virtually pat them on the backs and say it was a phase, love is enough, love conquers all yada yada yada. Those of you who have been around and have these kids living with you know the drill.  There is way too much "support" to explain away trauma in a child within the adoption community (as just some typical behavioral issues) or a strong willed child or most commonly pathologizing of the adoptive parents. This way of operating is a self-perpetuating problem fueled by "adoption experts" and agencies and supported by many perspective and adoptive parents.

One of the big problems is that there really isn't much in the way of valid research available that looks at these issues and problems. It's hard to do research when many admit to no issue.

In China all children are "supposedly" abandoned. That means that all children adopted from this situation HAVE been traumatized because leaving an infant or any age child and never coming back then sending them to an orphanage IS trauma. If every agency started from that point maybe the word "trauma" might be mentioned in the process of getting perspective adoptive parents ready to receive a child. NO ONE from the agency we used EVER mentioned trauma.  Show me an agency that doesn't understand or recognize that concept and I'll show you an agency that should not be allowed to be in the child placement business! If they do understand and do not try to prepare perspective parents then they shouldn't be in the child placement business either!

Adopting is not about the perspective parents no matter what they have "been through" before they adopt. It is about the child -- the child -- the child. It doesn't matter what the parents want, whether or not they are unhappy about extra requirements for placement, or whether the parents feel it's an intrusion. The ONLY relevant factor in an adoption  is about the needs of a child. Don't get me wrong, I am not saying there can't be compassion for parents who have been through a lot to build a family. But their struggle isn't a need adoption agencies should be addressing.

Parents who have decided to build a family due to infertility primary or secondary need to have first resolved their fertility issues and if those issues are not resolved, they should not be allowed to adopt until they are resolved. The child has be been put first. The needs of that child have to be put first. Adoption is a complex issue but I think it is way too easy to adopt. I think anyone could pass a home study and I think adoption is marginalized because of this

Of paramount importance is to put the child and that child's needs first.

The InterNational Council on Infertility Information Dissemination (INCIID – pronounced "inside") is a nonprofit organization that helps individuals and couples explore their family-building options. INCIID provides current information and immediate support regarding the diagnosis, treatment, and prevention of infertility and pregnancy loss, and offers guidance to those considering adoption or childfree lifestyles.

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1 comment:

  1. Very interesting, thanks for posting it!